Post by ashoka1 on Jan 12, 2005 7:33:44 GMT -5
Being a stand in is tough work !
Are you ready for long hours ?
Little pay ?
Tons of make-up and costumes ?
Being used and abused by the cast and crew ?
Well, before you make up your mind... Why don't you see what a typical day looks like for a 'stand-in' actor.
4:00 A.M. The audition
It's just you and 50 other starving actors. You're all waiting outside in the cold.
Vancouver's frosty this time of year. Did you bring a coat ?
No ? Too bad... it won't be long now...
9:00 A.M. You're ice cold...But you're hired !
No time to wait around ! Get dressed !
Your first role ? Buddy, you get to be a stand-in for Jamie
Bamber ! Oh look ! It's Katee Sackhoff ! . Say hi !
She told you not to look at her ?!?!?!? Well.. you are kinda ugly...
Here's a memento of your time being 'APOLLO' !
11:00 A.M. Ooops ! She did it again.
Woohoo ! You were just standing around,
eating your Boston Cream doughnut, when
you heard a big ~ CRASH ! ~. What happened ?
Katee Sakhoff was filming a fight scene with Col. Tigh's stunt-double.
She knocked the guy out cold !. Someone taps you on your shoulder.
Time to get dressed ! It's stunt work time !. Good Luck !
Here's a picture of you (6 seconds before you tasted the floor) .
2:00 P.M. Are you breathing ? Yes ? WELL GET BACK TO WORK !
Katee doesn't feel bad about what happened. In fact, she's bragging about it to her boyfriend on her cell.
What a diva !. She says she won't work until her hand gets its feeling back. Time to suit up soldier !
Yup... you're gonna have to wear Katee's sports bra... and her panties... and her uniform... and her high heels.
You wanna be an actor right ?! Don't worry...
your inflamed cheek bone will heal quickly !
5:30 P.M. Out of that Bra soldier ! It's Trisha - Time !
There's good news and bad news...
The good news is that James Callis got a little excited
while shooting a love scene with 'Number Sex" .. I mean Six !.
He's lying down in his tralier and recuperating. You'll have to stand-in for Callis while HNR
takes some publicity shots. They'll paste Callis's head over yours later.
The bad news ? There is none ! Go for it Romeo !
8:00 P.M. DO NOT TOUCH THE HINDY... ROMEO :banghead: !
Well... I hope it was worth it. Trish Helfer is throwing a fit.
You just couldn't stop yourself from "touching the hindy", could you ?.
They would fire you... but then you would spill the beans to HNR.
Hiring illegal immigrants for slave-wages doesn't go over too well in Canada.
Your punishment? Get back in drag boy-toy !. You'll fill in for Mary
McDonell while she teaches Trish Helfer about 'sexual harassment laws'.
Yeah I know... damn liberals ! . Look here, sexy !
10:00 P.M. Get on the make-up chair!... It's time to be the man !
That's right, you're gonna be the man ! You're gonna be Eddie Olmos.
Make-up will take 3 hours. Wardrobe will take another 2 hours becuase
someone refuses to do a sit-up (You're so fat... who the hell has a size
120 waist line !!
?!!!?). Finally ! Just look at the camera intensley. Give
them their moneys worth. Those $200 resized-pants better be worth it...
5:00 A.M. Hello ! Are you ready to be Helo ?
This is it. I know you're tired. I know they haven't given you anything
to eat. But there's a good reason. You see... sometimes regular cast
members like to party. That means no food for the 'extras' like you.
But! there's some good news. Tahmoh Penikett's too hung over to film his
scene !. You're the only one around at this ungodly hour !. Suit up !.
Ohhh... by the way, they won't be shooting your face... and (at all times)
they're keeping you 12 feet away from anyone with a vagina.
However, you can keep this picture as a reminder...
Helo... think fast !
10:00 A.M. You've earned $40 !
Good work ! You deserve it !
Now... I know you're upset... I know that you could have made that much
moving cardboard boxes for 4 hours... but... look on the bright side.
You got a new experience... and it didn't kill you !
Whatever hurts only makes you stronger in the end !
You there ? Why aren't you breathing ? Hey ! you're a good actor !.
OKAY ! ENOUGH ALREADY !. WAKE UP PORKY !!!! WAKE UP !!!
Well, I guess an expereince can make you morally stronger, yet physically dead.
That's it. That's all. Finished. Baby goes to sleep.
Are you ready for long hours ?
Little pay ?
Tons of make-up and costumes ?
Being used and abused by the cast and crew ?
Well, before you make up your mind... Why don't you see what a typical day looks like for a 'stand-in' actor.
4:00 A.M. The audition
It's just you and 50 other starving actors. You're all waiting outside in the cold.
Vancouver's frosty this time of year. Did you bring a coat ?
No ? Too bad... it won't be long now...
9:00 A.M. You're ice cold...But you're hired !
No time to wait around ! Get dressed !
Your first role ? Buddy, you get to be a stand-in for Jamie
Bamber ! Oh look ! It's Katee Sackhoff ! . Say hi !
She told you not to look at her ?!?!?!? Well.. you are kinda ugly...
Here's a memento of your time being 'APOLLO' !
11:00 A.M. Ooops ! She did it again.
Woohoo ! You were just standing around,
eating your Boston Cream doughnut, when
you heard a big ~ CRASH ! ~. What happened ?
Katee Sakhoff was filming a fight scene with Col. Tigh's stunt-double.
She knocked the guy out cold !. Someone taps you on your shoulder.
Time to get dressed ! It's stunt work time !. Good Luck !
Here's a picture of you (6 seconds before you tasted the floor) .
2:00 P.M. Are you breathing ? Yes ? WELL GET BACK TO WORK !
Katee doesn't feel bad about what happened. In fact, she's bragging about it to her boyfriend on her cell.
What a diva !. She says she won't work until her hand gets its feeling back. Time to suit up soldier !
Yup... you're gonna have to wear Katee's sports bra... and her panties... and her uniform... and her high heels.
You wanna be an actor right ?! Don't worry...
your inflamed cheek bone will heal quickly !
5:30 P.M. Out of that Bra soldier ! It's Trisha - Time !
There's good news and bad news...
The good news is that James Callis got a little excited
while shooting a love scene with 'Number Sex" .. I mean Six !.
He's lying down in his tralier and recuperating. You'll have to stand-in for Callis while HNR
takes some publicity shots. They'll paste Callis's head over yours later.
The bad news ? There is none ! Go for it Romeo !
8:00 P.M. DO NOT TOUCH THE HINDY... ROMEO :banghead: !
Well... I hope it was worth it. Trish Helfer is throwing a fit.
You just couldn't stop yourself from "touching the hindy", could you ?.
They would fire you... but then you would spill the beans to HNR.
Hiring illegal immigrants for slave-wages doesn't go over too well in Canada.
Your punishment? Get back in drag boy-toy !. You'll fill in for Mary
McDonell while she teaches Trish Helfer about 'sexual harassment laws'.
Yeah I know... damn liberals ! . Look here, sexy !
10:00 P.M. Get on the make-up chair!... It's time to be the man !
That's right, you're gonna be the man ! You're gonna be Eddie Olmos.
Make-up will take 3 hours. Wardrobe will take another 2 hours becuase
someone refuses to do a sit-up (You're so fat... who the hell has a size
120 waist line !!
?!!!?). Finally ! Just look at the camera intensley. Give them their moneys worth. Those $200 resized-pants better be worth it...
5:00 A.M. Hello ! Are you ready to be Helo ?
This is it. I know you're tired. I know they haven't given you anything
to eat. But there's a good reason. You see... sometimes regular cast
members like to party. That means no food for the 'extras' like you.
But! there's some good news. Tahmoh Penikett's too hung over to film his
scene !. You're the only one around at this ungodly hour !. Suit up !.
Ohhh... by the way, they won't be shooting your face... and (at all times)
they're keeping you 12 feet away from anyone with a vagina.
However, you can keep this picture as a reminder...
Helo... think fast !
10:00 A.M. You've earned $40 !
Good work ! You deserve it !
Now... I know you're upset... I know that you could have made that much
moving cardboard boxes for 4 hours... but... look on the bright side.
You got a new experience... and it didn't kill you !
Whatever hurts only makes you stronger in the end !
You there ? Why aren't you breathing ? Hey ! you're a good actor !.
OKAY ! ENOUGH ALREADY !. WAKE UP PORKY !!!! WAKE UP !!!
Well, I guess an expereince can make you morally stronger, yet physically dead.
That's it. That's all. Finished. Baby goes to sleep.
